i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was born a porn star she said
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
