A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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