wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
