is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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