you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
