another moral hangover. fuck.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
two words: eviction party
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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