forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
