i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
