I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize