so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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