got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
