We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
