And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
