Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
