your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
