if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
