I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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