Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
