dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm too high and old for this...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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