Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
