i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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