u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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