Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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