I heard we made out
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
