I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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