i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
