Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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