you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
