in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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