i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
