You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Im part way to drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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