Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This is not my ceiling
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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