I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
