i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
