Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
