I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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