I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
