i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
