my phone needs a breathalizer
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your cock deserves a montage
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
