big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
