I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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