there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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