He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
