so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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