Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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