I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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