you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
