Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
