no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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