The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
