M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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