i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
