I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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