There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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