he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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