She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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