Are we in a gay sports bar?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
