I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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